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Thursday, May 13th, 2004
12:57 pm - graduation - rehearsal and the rapid approach of the end.
^_^; Eternity has passed, I know. However, it is all over now. Graduation is upon me. A college grad. Astounding. I am at the school now waiting for rehearsal. I don't have internet at the appartment as I am moving out at the moment. Soon I'll be back in Florida, and I have mixed feelings about that. Uh,.. I must go soon. But When I reach Florida and access, I'll update again. Chaos continues to reign, but in a more positive way. Ciao, all.

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Thursday, February 19th, 2004
9:45 am
Whew,...last semester of college. And of course it's been tough. I've discovered the glory and hell of taxis, as it's the only way to get to E6- where we develop film for both photo classes, (so I go ALL the time.) But before I discuss such trivial matters, let me catch you up on the bigger events. Nala, the family hamster is old and dying. Grandma Beth has sold her place(at the family's insistence) and is living in a retirement community/ elderly home. Dave's driving her car. (grrrrrrrrr) Dave's gone back to school FL- community college. Kayla went in for major surgery -she had a breast reduction- and is now in the healing process, and has been out of school for a few weeks. She's now able to walk around, but can't lift anything heavy. Ummm.... I have a tazer,.. and pity the sonovabitch that would try something with me. ^____^ .....I NEED A CAR!!! AHHH!
yeah,..ok... lessee.. I have had a concept for marketing class that I might actually do in reality, farther down the line. I have something of a relationship going with a guy I met online in our group of friends at Gaia. His name is Jim. ^_^

.....And I think that's it! All caught up. hehehhe... vague, I know, but an overview nonetheless.

current mood: okay

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Tuesday, November 25th, 2003
1:36 am
hi, all. I know it's been ages again since I have posted last,..*sigh* it's been hell on wheels..At least before I had time to breathe,..lately, it's gotten so bad that my DAD said "don't worry about it,..just try to pass." What statement does that make,.. well all of this was going to lead somewhere. It led me straight to getting sick...and what started with the flu and nosebleeds galore (which the doctors tell me is from stress and exhaustion) turned into yet another sinus infection and my throat closing up,.. it got pretty bad, guys,..I had no energy from the flu,.and I couldn't eat,..or eventually talk, because my throat closed up overnight from nasal drip...Eventually I went to the emergency room on Wed. night,.. now it's down to me recovering and trying to make up all the work plus the new stuff all due for the end of the semester,..*sighs and feels tears come up* I don't know about any of this,...

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Monday, November 3rd, 2003
4:09 pm - Halloween,.. my real life horror story.
I would, before I begin to tell you the story of what happened Friday night, like to ask a question. Now I want as many people to reply to this question as possible. So please feel free to put in your 5 cents worth. Here it goes,...

"How many of you out there have had the pleasure to sit on a bus, across from a guy in a tux,..and watched as he proceeded to scratch/paw himeslf through the whole hour's ride?"

I must say, it was my first time on that one. Though, I have had a guy stand next to my aisle seat,.. just so,... so that every time the bus swayed, his crotch area would gently hit my shoulder.

Now c'mon people! I know that there have got to be SOME of you out there who have had the same wonderous experience! (excuse while I get a bucket for the dripping sarcasm.)

And now, on to the entertaining story of Holloween!

It was a pleasant afternoon on Thursday, and Shermel and I were planning out our ideas for the night of Halloween. Originally wanting to go to a goth club, we had heard of there being extensive lines, and Shermel decided she wanted to be home by 2 am. This lead to our decision to instead go to JEFF'S PARTY. (Insert dramatic lightning, gasp sound efx, and organ music here.) I had got many such invitations o his events before, but never went. Feeling bad about this, I was determined to go. After reaching my house,.. time passed and we were ready in our costumes by 10:15 pm. Now, the question of transportation to the party was iffy. We didn't have cars, and so were limited to bus/ MARTA. And while the invitation Jeff had given me had the house # on it and driving directions, it didn't give an address. ... now normally I would have just called Jeff and asked for it. Since he didn't know the bus route, I would have used it to call MARTA (form of public transp.) and get the route that way. ....But no one I knew had Jeff's #.

Friday at school, I asked Joy if she knew and she handed me a party flier wih it on it..... and so the horror began.

The first bus to get us to the train station was uneventful. As soon as was got to the station, we got our first dose,.. though it was nothing to what later occured. I went through the turnstyle and kept walking when I noticed Shermel wasn't right behind me. So I waited until I noticed Shermel frozen in inability to speak. There was a guy leaning towards her saying "hey, baby,.." I went right up to him and stared. "c'mon, Shermel, lets go." 11:15 pm.
After riding the train, we get onto the #2 bus. This takes us to Ponce deLeon st. It's a main street. And though it's fine during the day,..

Well, we got off the bus at Kennasaw Av. (a little neighborhood st. right of the main drag) And we began to walk down it, looking for the right house # for the party. "That's weird, this house says 653, and the #s are getting smaller,.. but Jeff's is number 1046."
So we are walking, and we see a couple of drunk party-goers in fron of a house. But it's not Jeff's, and though their slurred invites to enter are tempting, we decline and back away with no sudden movements. So we are starting to get a little scared, lost and wandering down the dark street with no lights. MIDNIGHT
After a bit of this we walk back out to close to the main street again. We perch next to a low wall and I pull out my cell. (thank god I charged it with the thought that we'd be out late)

Shermel is searching through her little phone directory when I spy 6 big black guys drifting across the street towards us, starring. "Hurry, Shermel,... hurry."
"I can't see, wait a minute." They're getting closer.
- I say in a low guttural voice- "get-the-freak'n-number. NOW."
We start calling umpteen people to see if we can get Jeff's # or someone to pick us up / the correct directions.
We didn't even know their names, the phone just got passed around, and we kept calling people in desperation.

We were waiting for the last one to call us back, and began to walk down Ponce in hopes of something.

Now, to give you all a proper idea, it's a BAD area once the sun sets. Like worse then Tamrind at SOA. Prostitues, we found out, wouldn't even bother standing there. And there we were.
Bums (?) wandered up to us, muttering things. Guys came onto us. And we saw eyes staring at us from the near black little alleys.
"Walk faster." "Ya! This isn't funny!"
We see 2 women who look worse then french whores, standing in robes and smeared gaudy makeup on the steps of a 'house'. "Now I have to admit, that's unique." One says, referring to my costume, (I think). "uhh, ..thanks.." We are walking shoulder to shoulder with our purses between us. "LET's GO ACROSS THE STREET TO THAT McDONALDS!!" "YEA!!" It's a 5 lane street. "I DON"T CARE IF I GET RUN OVER!!!!!!! LET"S GO NOW!!!!!!!!"

The McDonalds was closed except for drive thrus. And we sat on the curb. My phone was our life line. Everyone we called gave directions until Iinterrupted. "Uh, we're not in a car, we're on foot."

"..." "You're WALKING? AND YOU ARE WHERE??!!!"

We sat there for an hour waiting, scared to the point where we began to laugh at everything. And sing. LoveShack. We got a cab # from one of the people we talked to (don't know who) and though they said "15 min," they never came. 1:30 am

Finally a guy from the party came and got us. "You'll see me," I had said on the phone. "Look for the blue wig and orange tutu."
At 2 something am we got there. ...Now the only problem was how we were going to get home,.. the train stoped at 1:30.

current mood: cynical

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Friday, October 31st, 2003
2:25 pm - it is Halloween, and an overview
Hello,
Yes, it has been a while. I am sorry about not being able to keep up with responding, but never have I had a semester such as this. I never thought that photography would be easy, but this semester has been my toughest yet. I have only one more after this, it's true, and while that thought comforts me, it also terrifies me. I know Kayla, who's still in animation is afraid of how she will get a job. As for my present work load, it's partially due to my own horrid luck. You see, from the beginning of this semester, things have gone wrong. It all began when I moved into an apartment, and found that my 700 dollar DV camera wouldn't respond when I turned it on... it ended up being because I was using a dead outlet. ..But I didn't know that until 3 weeks into school. So I was behind on projects. And when I tried to make up the work once I was able, something else would happen. *sighs* So I have been running to catch up through this whole semester, and have been dubbed to have the worst luck with equipment in 2 classes. It's humorous. I swear, I'll laugh about all this later,... just not yet. The programs failing, tapes not working,.. of course the icing was when MY VIDEO CAMERA CHEWED MY CASSETTE. *falls over* Someone up there has decided to make me into a sitcom. Yup, that's got to be it. ^_^ Anyhoo,.. That's it for now,.. OH YA!!!

Happy Halloween!!! Samhain rules. ya,.. And I got a top-hat that does the pop-open thing. Oooohhh, the coolness. hehehe, well ta!

current mood: amused

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Tuesday, September 16th, 2003
12:34 pm - HAHAHAHAHAH.....
hee hee... yesterday my glasses broke,... Steven stepped o them,m... hee hee,.. Today my dv camera freaked out and my cassete in it was messed up,..so no project for class,... I think Richard is going to give me the breakup talk today,....in the middle of that class I began to cry and laugh uncontrollably,...

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Thursday, September 11th, 2003
8:04 pm - A person can only take so much,..and men suck
OMG!!! I have had one of the most outrageous of weeks. It all started with my dv cam not working,..causing me to not have my video class assignments. As it turns out, it was due to a faulty outlet. I was unaware of that, seeing as I just moved in. So Blake, my video professor, has given me no breaks, despite this,.. and now each project (WHEN I GET THEM FINISHED) will be a letter grade down for each class they were late. 2 assignments,.. and now 3 weeks late. In addition, I finally found the tri-x film i needed for large format class. The box came with my light meter,.. but no film. BACKORDERED! Sooooo no film assignment either. That's 20,.. count them,.. 20 4x5 negatives I need to have. heehee hee..
soooo I found out yesterday that they actually had the film in the school store. So last night I took the film I bought, and after finishing my in-camera-edit film at 11:30, took 6 pictures. Finished at 3:30 am. Brought them into critic today undeveloped when everyone had 20 developed and contact sheets. But, I thought, "at least I have something,.. I tried." Went after class to develop the film..... ... ...... . . . .. . . "BLANK??!!!" All underexposed. Every one. To the point where you couldn't see an image. Oh yeah,... Richard hasn't been calling me. No return calls. he passed me in the hall and said nothing. Men suck. And on the way home I had one try to pick me up. You know that I have never had so many icky experiences with men until I moved here? I don't know if it's a Atlanta-Latino (Buford hwy is the equivalent of Miami) thing, or just the area. But I have had it up to my eyeballs with being honked at, called to, yelled at, and pick-up-lined!!!!!! MEN SUCK HERE!!! MEN SUCK PERIOD!!! All vermin and scum! GO TO THE SEWERS WHERE YOU BELONG, YOU FILTHY CREATURES!!!!!!!!! Kayla had one guy on the bus open with, "HELLO THERE, MY AFRICAN QUEEN" Well I'm sorry that I wear nice clothes!! Apparently I can't wear clothes that I like. And when it's 92 degrees here I can't wear a sleeveless shirt. God help me if I should ever decide to wear a skirt. Bekah, I dedicate this entry to you. You called it. And I give you permission to allow yourself 2 insults today, not just one. Awww, fuck it,.. just let loose! "SCUM, AND POND-SLUDGE WHO THINK WITH THEIR TINY MEMBERS!! THEY CAN ONLY BRING THEMSELVES TO THE LEVEL OF BEING JEALOUS OF OTHER MEN'S GENITALIA, AND TRYING TO GET USE OUT OF THEIR OWN!!!!!!"

current mood: aggravated

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Tuesday, August 26th, 2003
4:04 pm - Atlanta frustrations.
okkkaayy,...As it turns out, it just ended up being me an Kayla in the appartment. You see, Denise backed out,.. had to do with not wanting to pay for an extra 5 days since she wouldn't have moved in till Saturday,... Well that's come and gone. Truth is that it's probably better this way. It's simpler,.. and no Denise to consume our food. Since the time we settled in, I've had a few visitors once, including Frances and Denise. They, as it so happens, are deciding to room together. Well, good for them. Personally I don't know how things will work out, since they, and Yolanda are a bunch of unreliable souls,... but that's their problem, I guess. WEELL when they came over, they saw and liked the place. And said that maybe they'd move into our appt. complex, since they were out house hunting and liked ours and one other place. ....4 5 days later,.. I run into Denise at school, and she tells me they haven't decided,.. right now she 's staying at home (1 1/2 hour drive from school). Her stuff's there. And she doesn't know where Frances is staying. She said she might be staying a night or 2 with us (not that Kayla or I invited her, or anything.) And I wonder what is going on with Frances,.. she basically had the same as Nikita,.. which is to say she isn't at ACA right now,.. due to lack of finances. ..... DOESN"T EVERYTHING COME DOWN TO LACK OF FINANCES THESE DAYS??? yyyeah. So anyhoo,.. bills are everywhere,.. and transporatation is making things tough. One example is that I am presently typing this from inside the computer lab at school,.. because I happened to get out of class early as it is the first day, and am now waiting until 5:30 since that's when I am supposed to meet Kayla. She gets out of work then,.. but I called her without responce just the same as Richard and Shermel. Damn, I'm getting frustrated,.. can't ya tell? Anyway, so I'm stuck,.. and the school still thinks I owe them a bunch of money for staying in the dorm when I'm living off campus. ARG! Dad said the guy in the business office got it right when they talked on the phone. Guess not. On the other hand, the appartment is great. Spacious, with proper temperature controle, dish washer, and full size fridge. I just wish I had a car. At the same time,.. Kayla HAS a car. ...Her Dad just won't let her have it here. "How sucky IS THAT??!!!" Has one,..but can't use it. That's a form of torture. WELLL... gotsta go,.. well, not really. I just have to stop typing before I get myself angry. Taa!

current mood: aggravated

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Thursday, August 14th, 2003
12:34 am - I hear and obey, Metal Winged Voice!!
Metal Winged Voice has reminded me that I need to update. And so with out further ado,...
I leave to go back to Atlanta on Friday. We drive up, stay in a hotel overnight,.. and then unload on Saturday. ...Of course,.. these 3 sentences don't fully portray the horror of this process. There are a few differences this year, however. I am not staying in the dorm this time. The reasons are numerous, though I could sum them all up to "IT SUCKS, AND IT'S EXPENSIVE AS HELL!!!!" heehee Anyways,.. Kayla (my roomate) and I have gone round and round with setting up the third roomate. Not that it was a problem finding one or anything,.. just that there were always little things to worry about. Lirrle porblems like not having all the money to get into the apartment. In the end she(the 3rd roomate) decided that it was best for her not to stay in the apartment. *shrugs* If I were in her I'd do the same, because it makes no sense to pay rent to stay in Atlanta when you aren't going to the school there. And NOW, there's Densise who's taking her place (when we get the keys the day after tommorow.) I'm fine with Denise moving in,.. though she wants her friend, Yolanda, to move in too. *sighs* Now it's 4 people,.. even if Yolanda is only staying for 6 months and in the living room. Just as long as she pays evrything on time and keeps out of our stuff/food. Otherwise there'll be hell to pay. "YEEHAW!! LOOKIT OUR PEENYATA!!" *whack!* "HEE HEE HEE! HIT HER AGIN!" *swings 4x4 and misses* ughh,... both Kayla and I are getting a little tired of this whole last minute ordeal. Anyhoo, I admit that I'm nearly packed and am finding myself excited to move in. The fact that it's my senior year of college is rather frightening. Not in that it's the last year so much as that I don't know what will come after. The wide-world is a place to get lost in. Buuuttt, cest la vie!

current mood: excited

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Wednesday, July 9th, 2003
4:57 pm - France!
I have returned from abroad! It was beautiful! OOoooohh so beautiful. With flowers everywhere, and the quaintest village you have ever seen. Little blue shutters on windows. And you walk to everything. The sunlight is pure and crisp, making everything seem to pop. The people are nice and friendly, also. The sun goes down at 11 at night. And there's a timelessness to every day. You don't know what day it is, because it's not important. There are no screaming parents or bosses, no work to be done by x time. No groceries to get or laundry to do. No pressures. No stress. And your biggest worry is whether or not to bring an umbrella in case it rains sometime. It's a relaxed setting. And happiness is always just an inch away, with a feeling of content taking you by surprise. You have plenty of oportunity to see the glory in living, and just revel in your existence. I sat and talked with a friend on a stone in the middle of a river I visited every day. We discussed all the things we'd miss after leaving,.. and how no matter how much we talked, we could never show the people back home our experiences. What they were like. The place called Pont Aven is a place like that in a movie or fairy-tale. I'll never forget it. It's so surreal to me now,.. feels like a dream... ..except that I crave walking.

current mood: amused

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Friday, May 16th, 2003
7:41 pm - constant changes
I am reminded so very often that everything changes,.. and nothing is ever the same as it is at the moment. ...Yet I still mourn the lost,.. and the reminders are never enough. I continue to cry in the silent chaos within.


"... and so I begin my life anew"

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4:58 pm - ethereal moments in college
What a bizarre day it is,... it feels as though everything today is brighter,..and ethereal. Like everything is so very temporary. Which is true at all times,.. except that today it feels especially so. I'm packing to go home today. Tommorow we pack the car and take it to storage,.. followed by the trip home on Sunday. I have a physical exam on Monday,.. it worries/scares me,.. shots /needles / injections, etc. *shivers* And I realized I have a mere 12 days from when I get home until I go to France. "Oh, and btw", they say, "read these 6 books and see these 4 english, 3 French films before you come. Incidently, read this art-history-text-sized guide on how to act in France while you are at it"....Did I mention how I have to learn the language also? @.@ *falls over* heheheheh....gotta pack to go to FL,.. then again to France.... "NEVER A DULL MOMENT" heheh. Kayla left today,.. I wish her a good trip. Richard has told me that should I meet anyone over the break,.. to take the oportunity. That we'd be taking a break during the summer. He doesn't mean it to hurt me,.. and it's not like he's out to date others. But I don't know what to think about it. ohhhh, soooo many things to think about. And everything is so insubstancial. Everything feels like grains of dust slipping away around me. College has taught me to never feel that anything is definite. That, and to not care about petty social nicities. An example right is like how I can give a rats ass if people see me in my pajamas, or with unshaved legs. They aren't important. Last night we were joking with Shermel at the restaurant with commentary sexual in nature. At one time I would have been embarassed to have been caught saying such things at diner. ...There's also a loss of tolerance for certain things. And I have learned to be a bitch when I need to be. That one was thanks to things like immature freshmen and their rap on surround sound...I'd also like to thank the phone companies at this time. This wouldn't be possible without you, you mother-fucking assholes. ^_^ Anyhoo,... just wanted to give credit where it was due. Well,.. I have to get back to my packing,...

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Monday, May 5th, 2003
4:08 pm - inner change
Ok, as promised, here's what happened with Richard. About 3 weeks ago, Richard seemed like he was in deep, dark though. (he often still seems that way, too,.. so I'm a little scared) But he seemed like there was something to discuss with me. It was after the whole episode with who was going to room with who, and Beth's assumptions/ lying. At the time I was sitting at home that night, on my bed, when Richard sat down there with me, and Nikita sitting on the couch. We were (rather, they were) chatting and I had the remote, flipping channels. I wasn't saying much and felt weird. Tense. And I didn't even understand it or know that it was what it was. Suddenly when I went through eniough channels, got frustrated/ angry with nothing on to watch, (though angry out of the blue really for another reason) tossed the remote over my shoulder,.. and must have done it to hard,.. Richard and Nikita got quiet. And I discovered I was emotionally distraught,.. but not why. hours later I was crying with Richard and finding that I was sad because I thought Kayla didn't want to room with me,.. and that if I ended up in a room with Beth in the new dorm, we'd hate each other, and I'd be alone for various reasons. It was "ALONE" that upset me. Then we got around to talking about how it was that Kayla probably didn't want to room with me. Until eventually, Richard started telling me about how I turn people off with how I act or talk to them. That I need to be more aware, and considerate of others. And that there were times when he thought of giving up on us because of it. I was really disturbed by these things,.. but I knew they were true. I also knew that these things are because of my unawareness,.. which comes from how I think. But it needed to change. Now I am tying to fix these things. But it's so very hard. With so much going on, it's more to deal with. I have to make conscious effort, reminding myself and stopping myself from saying or doing things. Pushing myself to do more for others. But I often forget, and the going is slow. And I'm always wondering if what I am saying is ok,... that maybe I should say somthing else or do something else. "Wait, was that too pushy? Maybe I shouldn't have asked." Goes through my head. But the truth is that I need this. To be a better person. And when I cried after Richard told me, what hurt most was that I knew that those faults were so very true, and I never wanted to face it before.

current mood: okay

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3:44 pm - End of the semester is around the corner
Allright. So here I am,.. 12 days till when I go home. And while I have plenty to do, things feel kinda strange. I feel that the end is just 3 days away,.. yet the other part of me feels like it's weeks away. Meanwhile, I realized, (though I don't know why it comes up now, except that I have been using some entries from my Book for a final piece,) that I have greatly drifted away from all the magic, spiritualism, and mystery that used to be in my life. I was reading about how Emerald had a Ritual Cleansing, and felt refreshed in her journal.... I haven't done a cleansing in the formal sense except for maybe once,.. but the truth is that I haven't had a spiritual cleansing of any kind since before college. I miss the magic. Another thing is Richard,... the word for our relationship is "stale." However, he did something that has set me on a new path. But that, I will discuss in the next entry. Incidently, I found out that I got accepted into Pont Aven in France, a summer course program tha goes through RISD. So if that goes through, then that might give me the one more photography course I need to graduate in my major. And in FRANCE!!!!! TRAVEL!!!!!! WAHOO!!!! It goes from June 1st to 31st. Then I remembered there was supposed to be a convention during the summer we were supposed to go to. ... So I checked and it was in June. "NOOOOOOO!" Well, I talked to Andi, who informed me that she cancelled, anyway.... but she said she talked to Emerald about a con in July,.. I really hope that happens. I would love for all of us to go in the group and have fun. Oh, and the new dorms are almost done. I have taken a tour through it,...seen the rooms,... OY VAYSMEYR. What a mess that's going to be. We are due to move in for next semester, incidently,.. with a low price of $785 a month!!!! less room (tiny rooms) for more money? NO COMMENT. anyhoo,.. taa for now.

current mood: weird

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Friday, February 21st, 2003
8:19 pm
Here I am again,.. not so bad, though I'll admit that I was close to tears earlier when I tried to look at the whole of what I have got to do. But I won't go into that right now. Thinking about it will only gring back the stress. So, okay... righ now I can't tell what mood I am in,.. it's sort of strange. I feel like I want to be creative and bouncy,.. but I'm not. It's just out of reach. Part of me feels tired and worn,.. and another feels numb and in denial. "I'll ignore my responcibilities and they will go away" (obviously not true). And then there is the fact that I know I need to do things,.. and yet even as I say these things I am procrastinating. ^_^ Not good, I know. I want to feel free,.. and I feel a small part of me almost does,.. but I don't know why that is. ....All these things are from the fact that I am beyond feeling busy or overwhelmed now. ... So now I don't know what I feel. *shrugs* Eh, whatever. I'll say that the unpredicability here is frustrating. I have assignments to be done,.. but I can't do them without relying on people who are unreliable. And I don't have a choice in he matter,.. they are doing me favors, so I can't push them. I can't say "I NEED TIME TO DEVELOPE THESE PRINTS, ETC...SO WE HAVE TO SHOOT TOMMOROW SO I HAVE ENOUGH TIME". I can't push them into anything, and they often can and will say they can't at the last minute. They are my friends,.. but this is rediculous. And my grades and projects ride on these elements of chance. ARG. As for the Richard thing,. he told me something that surprised me. ...You see, I have known from day one back when that though I liked him, he wasn't the one I'd end up with. Or rather,.. technically, I sensed that we could end up together, ... but it feels like that won't/shouldn't be the case. ...It just doesn't feel right as an option. .... Then just 2 days ago he said something to me. He told me that as far as the paths of future possibilities go, there are 2 he senses for us as possible paths. One is that we might end up together, as in married,.. and the other is that we will be COMPLETELY apart. And he said he liked being with me, and didn't want to be apart, but that he had a feeling that though the one where we ended up together was a possible, it didn't feel like it was supposed to be. I told him that I had felt that instinctively before, but that I was not confident enough to tell him. ,... well ttyl, all. taa

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Thursday, February 6th, 2003
2:15 pm
Hello, everyone. I know, I know,.. I'm just not good at doing this very often. Things have been as busy as I have ever seen them here, however. This is hands down, the craziest semester I have ever had. *sighs* I'm just a little more then tired. ..The stuff I have been doing wasn't bad,.. just large in quantity. I come home from class only to run and change clothes and leave again to go get props for a photo shoot, shoot a few roles for the other photo class, and then get food at the grocery,.. come home where there are visitors and I get to eat diner as they visit at 11 pm,... the first time I've gotten to sit down. All I ever get to see Richard now is at night, at 12 when he comes over once things have quieted down and I can study in peace. ... ........... ...,.. AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH AAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHHH *whack whack* *bang bang bANG BANG BANG* ..okie *puts 4x4 down* so anyeeway Richard has told me that his family is moving to Arizona and he was transferring to be near them. He also said how he didn't like this school, that it wasn't the one for him. It seems the only reason he stays here is because I'm here. I told him that he should go where he'd be happy, the best for his future. It still hurts me to think of him leaving, however. ARG!! Why is it that everyone I care about leaves!? First Marcus, then Richard! And Kayla has said she is going to live with Daniel. I am glad she's going to be happy, but I still feel like everyone is going away. And then there's parental nagging adding wood to the fire of my stress. (like waking me up this morning, my one day without class in the morning, at 9) *sighs* It's been nutz. On the other hand, Emerald has it worse then I, she has been on terrible meds with horrid side effects. It's messing up her life in addition to the usual stresses. So I want everyone to send their best wishes to her. She needs to be appreciated and loved for the wonder she is, especially with things being the way they are. Ok? Well that's all for now, guys.
-Dara the Goddess of Dreams

current mood: restless

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Thursday, September 12th, 2002
11:11 pm - Welcome back to ME.
It's been eternity since I have posted. I apologize to all those who care and to all those who don't, also. Ah, well. I, the Goddess, have made some changes in my life. Since coming back to school, I have changed my major. I am now officially in phoyogtaphy,.. and if all goes well,.. in the future I will work for a magazine like National Geographic and get to travel to far and distant places... I have become for laid back and yet more social. S.A.A (Society of Asian Animation) is doing ok,.. we had a few new members join and I am anxious to see how the adventure to AWA (Anime Weekend Atlanta) convention turns out. I'd like to say that I hope that everyone can come from out of town,.. but after precious experience I can't bring myself to hope too much. It hurts when those hopes are destroyed. I have a quiz/test in photo tommorow morning. I wish I could go to a goth club,.. but I don't know of any such place here,.. and besides,.. it wouldn't be the same w/o Bek. *misses the castle* My roomate is engaged to a dear friend and goes to see him just about every weekend. They are the cutest couple I have yet to see,.. and they deserve each other,.. both being very nice and sweet as well as fun. Dragon Con here was fun,..I went with Kayla (my roomate) and her fiance, Daniel. Oh, there was a shooting again, but this time it was right in front of the Dorm. Beth, a new member of the club yet knowledgable one, saw the event from her window. Being from the outskirts of GA and new to the area, it unsettled her. Poor girl didn't sleep. Something that I, too have a problem with,.. but of course for different reasons. *sighs* I'm suddenly feeling rather nostalgic tonight. At least it wasn't the earlier frustration I had after 2 rolls of film turn up bad. I have a pet hamster here,.. she's a Dwarf hamster (and yes, Bek I know you don't like them, but I DO). Her name is Yuzuriha,.. after Sachiko didn't work out for various reasons. I spent over 500 dollars in photo supplies recently,... I know the stuffs worth it,..but it's still a large sum to drop in one sitting when you add it to the costs of text books, etc. ....Ahh,.. I'm in such a dry mood right now. A result of being bored, tired, stir-crazy, slightly frustrated, and uninspired. It causes me to be something I usually am not - blunt and somewhat uncaring. I don't like being his way,.. though I'll admit that the being blunt for me can be interesting in the right circumstances. *sadistic smile* And when I get like this, after a while I feel driven to do something crazy and gutsey. *shrugs* Oh well. My Conniving Midget comes out in me more too... right now she's saying something like "huh,..I suppose being in this mood improves your manner and intelligence, then. You could always stand to be more down-to-earth." "The amount of denial you are in astounds me. If it weren't for me to be here to point out the obvious way things are, however negative, you'd never face the truth of things." - so says the Conniving Midget.
'Yeah, yeah.' *grabs Ass-Kicking-Stick-of-Evilness from her and whacks her over the head* ^___^
taa taa for now, kiddies.

current mood: predatory

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Thursday, May 16th, 2002
2:05 pm
Wellll,... It's my last day of school. I have only one class and it's Computer for which I had already finished my final CD. YAY!!
Going home soon, *dances around* woohoo. Though I'm a little worried that my parents will restort to old habits in ow they act towards me, their only daughter.

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Monday, May 6th, 2002
4:29 pm - AAAKKK!!!!! EXAMS!!!!
Sooo tiredd. My week next week is the last one before I go home,.. and it's HELL. Every day I have Finals, Final projects, Final papers, and presentations. I want it to stop, but it won't,.. I have art history and World Cultures exams to dread and fearfully study/prep for. Still need to do regular chores like laundry, dishes, start packing up thr dorm room, get groceries to eat (aka WALK and and waste 3 to 4 hours needed to work), clean, ETC. @o@ AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
*starting to rock back an forth* ...gottat keep a hold on thhthings,.. I-I can do this. ...I'll get home an it'll all be done with. (and I DON"T WANT to hear anyone say, "until next year"!!) ok. I'm ok. *breathes* oh, and I'm asking the four winds to send their gentlest breezes and best of vibes to Emerald,. in her hour of need tonight. taa taa mina. Dijobu. I'll see ya on the other side.

current mood: exhausted

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Friday, April 19th, 2002
9:54 pm - up to date
YAY! My Last of the Mohicans video came in the mail today. I adore that movie. ...there's something imside rattleing around though...kinda makes me worry. *shrugs* Ah,.. another hot day here,.. warmer then usual, though, at 92. Pretty good. except that the ac still doesn't work. It's the same inside as it is when i put my hand out the window. I have just 4 more weeks before the end of the semester..went through registration hell this morning to afternoon,.. 9- 12:30,.. would have been there longer until about 3 but I left my schedule there when a schedule conflict showed up that my prof. needed to fix. Oh, and I need to type 2 research papers this weekend *yuck*.

current mood: hot

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